A mad and horrible 24 hours later, I know what's wrong with me but do not yet feel any better.
Last night I skived the hospital. After uploading my post I was about to leave for the hospital when I got a call I'd been waiting for all day. That went on for 30 mins and by the time that finished I was starving hungry, even more tired, and just desperate for home, food and bed. And by the time I got to bed my thermometer was only reading 36.6 - a perfectably normal temperature. I almost jumped for joy and went to bed feeling hugely relieved.
Then I woke up myself up a little after 5am this morning because I was shivering so violently. It seems it had come with a vengeance and I was spiking at 38.7. I lay in bed with extra covers on, and my winter pyjamas, thermal socks, woolly hat, trying desperately to get warm as I worked out what to do. I was juggling the need to get to the hospital to sort my health out with the fact i had a conference call with New Zealand scheduled for 8.30am. It had taken a week to arrange what with sickness and the time difference - if I cancelled it would take another few days to set up again.
I decided to go to the hospital first - before the call. However early it was I figured there must be someone who could take my blood and pass me a urine pot to pee in. There was. It was the doctor I spoke to yesterday. She took my blood (had to go for a vein on my hand as the veins in the crook of my elbow were not playing ball - once again I was thankful I'd had the portocath fitted for the big drug sessions...). Temperature was taken (it had dropped slightly again to 37.9). And I had a pot to piss in. Which makes a nice change...
I'd taken a cab from Waterloo to Harley Street to save time. I now found myself taking a cab from Harley Street to the office to make the call on time. It was turning into an expensive day of racing from the hospital to my desk...and back again. After the call I phoned the doctor. She had the results. I had not one but two infections. A urine infection and a suspected chest infection. And I was needed back for a chest x-ray to confirm the latter so she could work out what drugs to give me.
The good news? I'm not neutropenic - my blood cell count is high enough to show that my body is responding to the infection normally. But with two of them I'm going to need some stronger drugs... apparently the antibiotics I'm on will fight urine infections only, not chest infections. And the fact that I'm still suffering means I might even be resistant to their effects on clearing up urine infections.
I broke the news to my boss that I wouldn't be able to join him for a meeting later today. And that I wasn't sure what state I'd be in tomorrow. When we had two important meetings. In response to that I got an earnest plea to be in the office tomorrow. Of course I don't want to miss the meetings tomorrow. I don't want to let people down and I've set these meetings up - they are prospects I've brought in. I want to see them through. But what sort of pressure does that put me under?
I need to see how I feel tomorrow before I make a final decision. I'll probably go in. I'm NOT indispensable. But because I'm easily flattered and clearly far too insecure, like to FEEL indispensable, and it will make mel fall for the earnest plea every time.
What a sucker...
(Later that day, after a mad few hours finishing up stuff or passing it on to others to deal with in my absence, another cab to the hospital, an x-ray and examination later, I eventually leave the hospital with my big bag of drugs. By the time I get home it's almost six o'clock. So much for getting home early to rest.)