Every so often I indulge in an idle google browse of the internet around search terms to do with breast cancer. I like to keep myself vaguely up to date.
A CBS News headline from someone's newsfeed blog caught my eye because it referred to the type of breast cancer I have, which is termed triple negative. This means the tumour is not responsive to hormones, proteins, and one other 'negative' which I cannot recall.
I clicked through and read this:
'Nicole Sudler was a 28-year-old single mother when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
"I was shocked," she said. "And I was very, very afraid."
Sudler had one of the deadliest and most aggressive forms of breast cancer. Some researchers are calling it "triple negative."
"It kind of made me feel like 'Oh, God, my life is going to be over.' You know, dating, it's not going to happen anymore. Getting married? Probably not," Sudler said.
This kind of cancer is a triple threat because it strikes early; it's resistant to standard drug treatments; and more likely to kill. Its primary targets are young African-American women. Black women under the age of 50 are 77 percent more likely to die from the disease than white women of all ages.
Patients like Sudler compel Dr. Funmi Olopade of the University of Chicago to figure out what is going on.'
So, here I am, on a Sunday morning, wondering whether this is scaremongering or if what I had is so deadly and aggressive.
At the time of finding out it was a triple negative tumour I was happy - mainly because I wouldn't have to be on treatment that forced me into a five year menopause before my time. Or protein treatment where I'd be forced to stay in the UK for at least another 12 months after the end of radiotherapy.
Maybe I should have been careful what I wished for.
And the black thing? That's a surprise. Maybe I should do one of those blood tests they made lots of racist middle England types do on TV when they were showing how we all have African American genese in our DNA. The looks on these peoples' faces when they realised they were a lot more closely related to the people they are deeply bigoted against. Very amusing television.
So where can I get me one of those blood tests, girlfriend?