Friday, October 26, 2007

How fast is normal?

I've forgotten how fast life can move. I've been crawling through life at a snail's pace of late, for forgiveable reasons, but it's only when you get back up to speed you start to realise quite how slow you were going.

In the last 24 hours I've rattled out a massive tender document with no spelling mistakes and some pretty pictures. It's just been picked up by the courier company so this is the first chance I've had to breathe in that time.

After starting to work on the document yesterday lunchtimes (well, I started on Wednesday but that would not make for a neat 24 hr timeline), I worked til eight, raced home to wait for the Tesco's guy to deliver my food, got very hungry as I waited which led to giving in to pizza from the freezerm, did another hour's work, crashed in bed around 11.30, dragged myself up at 8 this morning, had a fight with someone on the way to work (since when did it become perfectly normal to start yelling at people through your car window... would the penis in his saab have done that to me as a pedestrian? Twat...), recommenced the bloody tender document, briefed the studio, sourced images, checked showreels, ordered DVDs, spoke to the boss, answered emails, wrote case studies, checked facts, phoned R every now and again to check Welsh phrases (don't ask), cycled to Leather Lane, met some friends for lunch, ate falafel, cycled back, more document work, sent couriers, copychecked pages, played a move of internet scrabble, organised a night out at a musical next week, collated printed copies of the document, briefed the binding, wrote a letter, exchanged emails about grand plans that might, might just make life a whole heap better, sorted some DVD covers, put everything in a great big jiffy bag, lovingly sealed it shut and thrust it into the sweaty waiting hands of a courier.

Two months ago, all of that could have easily have taken a week. We should have had longer to prep but the prospect didn't respond on a key question until Wednesday.

And the worst bit of it? I was due at my dermatologist's clinic at the hospital yesterday at 5pm for a procedure to remove the slightly dubious but increasingly hard to find mole on my right breast (radiotherapy shrunk it). I complete forgot about it. The first thing I heard of it was when she called my mobile at 5.15pm, politely wondering where I was.

And yes, I'm only operating at this speed because I can - my energy is returning - which in itself feels like a very good thing. But is this how I want to live my life? Not at this speed, no.

Not so fast that I forget to keep simple appointments.

But there are things I can do to slow down 'normal' and one of the many things accomplished today puts us one step closer to that. So hurrah for that.

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